Wednesday, April 18, 2007


See, I didn't used to be bitter or angry.

See, I didn't used to be bitter. I used to be nice. I used to give people the benefit of the doubt. I used to like people. I don't right now. I am so angry. I haven't written a lot about law school because I didn't want it to come back and bite me in the ass, but at this point I don't care (well I do some).

I am about to graduate.

I found out - 2 weeks before finals - that I need to get a semester average of about 92 in order to graduate with honors. I wish I had been told that my first year, or at least last fucking semester - I would have studied more if I knew it could have made a difference. We weren't even told that we had the possibility of getting honors. FUCKERS! See, I didn't used to be bitter.

We've been told that we could have unlimited people attending the hooding ceremony and the following luncheon. Many students are bring around 10 people (some as few as 4 and some as many as 20), I've got 9 on my list now (2 are babies though). We were told, today, that the luncheon has limited seating. That's not really an issue for me because I'm not going to the lunch. As I explained to my mother, why would I want to be stuck in a room with 1000 people, most of whom I don't know and the rest of whom I don't like. I liked people during my first year in law school. Now, there is a handful of people I like - a handful that I will remain close with for a long time. And there's another handful who I like enough to talk to if I ever see them again. There's another group who I am indifferent too. And there is the last group of people I can NOT FUCKING STAND. See, I didn't used to be angry. I used to like almost everyone. Why do people have to be assholes?

I figured out (along with some friends) that the place we're getting hooded has about 500 seats. Which means there is the possibility that some student's immediate family members will have to go into overflow seating and watch on a closed-circuit TV, while some one's great-aunt twice removed will be up front and center. Now I am not upset that people will have 20 guests, I'm upset that nobody thought to tell us about the space limitation until now. And I am further upset that no preemptive actions are being taken. When told about the possibility of 1000 people, the administration said they'd handle it when it happened because it has never been a problem before. Good job. All I'm saying is that if my mom, siblings and grandma don't get a seat, I'm going to be pissed. And I will probably start swearing. A lot. At the Baptist school. In front of everyone. I will make a scene if I have to. But the reason I'm mad is because I shouldn't have to be stressed about that at all - it should have been dealt with months ago. I get angry with stupid people who can't plan and then give out incorrect information. I have been able to run 2 competitions this year - although some people couldn't figure out simple time tables, both ran smoothly and barely anyone was angry. This ceremony - one of the most important things in my life, my induction into the legal profession - is less complicated to run and shouldn't be a stressful thing. It has been tainted. And I don't want to not graduate or to get a hold on my bar results because I had to kick some ass on my graduation. FUCKERS! See, I didn't used to be bitter. Thanks 2L & 3L years of law school!

Maybe I'll delete this post in a day or two, after I cool off. But right now, I just want to scream, "FUCK YOU {LAW SCHOOL}"!

Comments: you want to talk about it? I for one am very afraid.....
and I second Turkessa's post...I'm here if you need to talk. Course, last text I got from you on Thursday night said you're crying. Crying is better than swearing sometime. Course, you might have just been crying from October Road. Well, I mean, that's why you said you were crying so I guess that's OK. Me? I haven't seen the episode yet so don't spill the beans. Do you think now is now a good time to mention that the invitation that you sent out says your graduation is on a Monday. Is that right? And although I was going to go, I guess I won't now since there doesn't appear to be any seating for me.
Love you Ryan!
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