Sunday, February 26, 2006


This could only happen to my mother

Today my mom was in an AllState commercial. You've seen them. The ones where it's a true story and they show some dumb ass do something and then the AllState agent helps them out. That was my mom today. Except for the AllState part.

Our driveway is probably about 20 feet long (I'm not too good with distance so it might be longer) and it pretty steep. At the end of the driveway are 6 or 7 holly bushes that are actually more like trees now. Behind them is a 12 foot drop to the back yard.

My mom pulled into the driveway and stopped at the top to get the mail. She thought she had put the car in park, but as she was reaching into the mailbox, she saw the car pull away and roll down the hill. She ran after the car and tried to jump in the open door. She only got one foot in, then fell out. The car ran over her foot and dragged her down the driveway for a little bit. The car then turned to the right a tad and ran into the biggest holly tree and stopped.

My mom is fine, the car is fine, the holly bushes are shredded and so is my mom's boot. But seriously, how the hell do you run yourself over?

My mom has problems with cars. She ran one car through the wall in the garage as she was backing out. We had a hole in the laundry room for a few days until my dad fixed it. She also ran one car into another one of our cars and dented both. Somehow insurance paid to fix both of them.

The sad part is, my brother was telling me this story, and as she hadn't called me yet, I knew she was ok. So my first instinct was to laugh. And when I called to make sure she really was ok, I couldn't help but burst out laughing. I mean come on. It's funny.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


Family bonding

Sometimes my brother says or does something that makes me realize how much I love him. I didn't send him the meme because I was pretty sure he wouldn't fill it out. My cousin did send it to him and some of his responses made me laugh out loud:

2. JR's. This place was cool except according to [me] I still smell like bacon because of it ... [and he actually got rid of most of the bacon related stuff- like his old comforter and the truck]
3. Hans Hoover, Landscape escape. Hans is insane and leaves three to five minute messages on my phone about nothing. Hope alls well with your family, I hope your mom had a good mothers day, hope your roommate's brother's ankle is feeling better, you can reach me on the landline or on my mobile if you can't make it, we're putting in a nice fescue blend for next to Jason's tomorrow, etc. If you haven't met Hans your missing out. (By the way he used to be an air traffic controller so, here's to safety.)
4. Pizza K. Lets put it this way. I once put my finger in the dough masher so I could go home early.

Movies- which he switched to video games:
1. Dr. Mario - Look he's a doctor and his name is Mario...

Places he's lived:
1. Georgia Tech dorms. My roommate was some dildo from New Jersey...
3. The shithole in Decatur...there were good things, like the twenty-four hour taco stand and the Mexican ice cream guy who sold fruitbars rather than ice cream from some little cart...

TV Shows:
3. San Diego Beach Patrol - Court TV - badass

I don't eat "dishes" so these are four of my favorite places to eat.
1. World's greatest sandwich shop. They claim to have the best French Onion soup in the world and not only am I skeptical about that, but what moron would order French Onion soup when you could get a perfectly good Dublin Club (lightly toasted with no tomato) [I have to say that it was a damn good sandwich, although I did get tomato]

4 sites:
I don't use the internet that much, I'm not real good at it.

I suppose you'd have to know my brother for some of these to make you laugh, but they are funny to me and that's what counts.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006



My mom is taking dancing lessons and her teacher recommended that she go to a dance last Saturday. At this dance, they spend the first hour teaching you a dance and then after that open the floor to the good people.

I have done these things before and the first hour is fun but I feel like a jackass after. She had similar feelings. She said the only problem with the first hour was that they let basically anyone learn the dance, including geriatrics and retarded people. Not that my mom has a problem with either group, but it's harder to learn something when your partner is slower than you.

I wasn't sure if she meant retarded as in someone with actual mental problems or just odd because, when questioned about it, her first response was, "Well he was wearing a flannel shirt."

Monday, February 20, 2006


Boobs etc.

Two weeks ago my friend called to tell me something strange that her mother said to her. She had just walked in the door and her mom looked at her, paused, then said, "Your breasts look bad." My friend just stood there while her mother explained that women with big boobies need a lot of support and if that support is lacking, the breastal area looks bad.

I tell you that story to tell you this one: Last Thursday I had a conference with 2 of my professors and another student. I was wearing one of the only bras I currently own that fits properly. Although I am 26 and I thought that I had hit all growth spurts, apparently my boobs haven't gotten that message and continue to grow. It's not just because I've gained weight either- that is a separate issue. I know this will be hard for guys to understand, but I can feel them getting bigger. It is not comfortable- it feels like a super sensitive part of your body- like the inner thigh or arch of your foot, has a big bruise.

Anyways, back to the point of the story. I was sitting in this meeting when I heard a snap and felt a pull on the bottom bra strap. I figured it had just rolled funny. I kind of jumped because I wasn't expecting it. Luckily I had a sweatshirt on over my t-shirt because when I got home and took off my shirt, I discovered that the underwire on the left cup had snapped in two! I've had underwires mess up before- normally they just poke into your armpit or get bent in the wash. I have never had a metal wire under my breast snap in half. Hopefully my professors, who teach at a Baptist university and have degrees in ministry and stuff did not notice that I had lopsided boobs for the second half of the meeting.

Sunday, February 19, 2006



I've been watching the Olympics for years now. So I don't watch all the events- I just don't see the joy in watching the cross country skiing- but I watch a lot of them- summer and winter. I went to some of the games when they were hosted in the ATL. This year, at all the outdoor sporting events and some of the indoor ones, I've been hearing a specific sound to go along with whoops and clapping. It sounds like a bleating sheep, or a goat being attacked by a mountain lion. And they play it all the time. Like someone handed out these goat horns at the ticket gate. It's driving me nuts. I may just have to fly over to Italy, snatch those horns and beat people upside the head with them. However, I'm sure some people will just use them to cheer me on.

Friday, February 17, 2006



So I haven't posted in awhile. I just really didn't have anything too interesting to say. I kept meaning to and then just thought the stuff I was planning on writing was dumb. Anyhoo, here's that meme thing that's been going around:

Four Jobs I've Had:
1- Babysitter - Alpharetta, GA. I never had to have a "real" job in high school or during the summers of college because I babysat for my neighbor and made better money than I would have elsewhere. I sat for 2 boys who were pretty cool. I'd been sitting for them since 8th grade and did it until I left GA. I got to do all kinds of sweet stuff- like go mini golfing, play laser tag, go to the movies, went on a boat trip to the Bahamas, play with Legos, etc. and got paid for it. I think it might have been coolest job ever. Except for the time we all got locked in Michael's room, or when Kevin hit the panic alarm or when Michael peed on the living room carpet.
2- Worked in the housing office at UGA - Athens, GA. I had good hours and mainly talked to people. Sometimes I got the crappy job of filing. Shredding was ok because the shredder was in a back room and you could bring the Red & Black with you and do the crossword or take a brief nap. You just had to make sure you put a box or something near the door so you'd wake up when people opened it trying to find you. The best part was when we got to use the university vans to deliver or pick up stuff. You could always take about a 20 minute detour which could include getting ice cream at Cold Stone.
3- Literacy Coordinator for AmeriCorps - Washington, D.C. I was basically sent to a low income school in downtown DC. I was the only white person in the entire school except for Tuesday and Thursdays when a speech therapist came too. That was not the reason I quit. The reason I quit was because my job consisted of sitting in an old supply closet (that another person refused to sit in because it made her allergies act up, probably because of the lead based paint) and reading children's books to myself. I wasn't allowed to work with the kids myself and, as the managers of the program were not organized in the least, my volunteers weren't allowed to work with the kids either. It was the biggest waste of time and money I've ever seen.
4- Officer manager at Armed Forces Pest Management Board - Silver Spring, MD. This was a pretty sweet job. I played on the internet all day. And scanned stuff. It was cool because I was younger than most of the people by a good 20 years, so they treated me like I was their kid. My friend Dave also worked there and we watched movies in the conference room over the LCD projector on occasion. I miss working there sometimes, but I was bored a lot as there wasn't much for me to do, and I didn't get paid enough to stay.

Four Movies I Can Watch Over & Over:
1- Happy Gilmore - This movie cracks me up. I love most Adam Sandler movies, but this one has to top them. The entire movie is hilarious from the opening where he shoots his boss in the head, to the end when Elvis shows up over his house.
2- Dodgeball - if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. I laugh every time and I've seen it a lot. Plus Vince Vaughn's delivery of certain lines endears him to me even more. It doesn't hurt that he's adorable.
3- Sandlot - Timmy and Tommy Timmons, Michael "Squintz" Paldorez, Alan McKlenan, we call him YaYa, Bertrum Grover Weeks, Kenny DeNunez, and Hamilton Porter, we call him Ham. Guys, this is Scott Smalls. When Smalls does the dance after Benny "The Jet" Rodriquez steals home, it's a great moment.
4- Little Big League - this is probably the movie I quote most often. There are some great lines: "No offense, but you're acting like a first grader"; "Is that a spruce?"

Four places I have lived:
1- Mystic, Connecticut - in an apartment across the street from Mystic Pizza. Yes, that one. No, I never saw Julia Roberts, but my friend's dad did. We lived less than a mile from the drawbridge too. Sundays we would sometimes go to BeeBee Dairy and have pancakes with whipped cream on them. The people who lived under us were pot smoking hippies who stayed up all night. They egged me on my bike once.
2- Athens, Georgia - lived in dorms all though college and loved it. The campus is a 5 minute walk from downtown, which means you don't need a DD, just someone to walk you back. 72 bars in a 6 block radius, how can you go wrong?
3- Friendship Heights, Washington, D.C. - I lived 2 blocks from the Friendship Heights metro stop and across from a Borders & Maggiano's. I shared a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 actresses. I shared a bedroom with one of them and, occasionally, her boyfriend. That house was so messy it was scary. I refused to take out the trash once and it stayed around for a month and moved into the living room. We had some good times though and I made Jenn an Aqua Teen Hunger Force cake for her 25th b-day.
4- Lillington, North Carolina - I am still living here in a 3 bedroom town house that costs less in rent than my efficiency in Maryland. True, there is nothing here except for Dollar Stores and Food Lions and the Iguana (first place have a bar!), but I'll only be here for another year while I finish law school. And it's nice having my brother and sister within an hour's drive.

Four TV Shows I Love:
1- Friends - I watch it almost every night and have most of the DVDs
2- That 70's Show - I never realized how funny it is. The new episodes aren't quite as good, but that's because Eric isn't there anymore. Although Hyde is probably my favorite character.
3- Project Runway - a reality show with gay people and bitchiness and with people who have actual talent! And Heidi Klum! Yay!
4- House - Hugh Laurie is awesome. And the show is fun to watch, even if sometimes a bit predictable.

Four Places I've Vacationed:
1- Nags Head, NC - every year for the past 6 or so years with the extended Hackman family. 26+ people in one house = fun times! Sadly, we're not going this year. But hopefully we'll go back soon.
2- Italy - 3 weeks in various places in Northern Italy with my mom and sister my first year out of college. It was great. Lots of great food, some wine, laughing and learning the fun way, as my mom would love to marry Rick Steves.
3- Puerto Vallarta, Mexico - someone looked at me instead of my sister for the first time I can remember. Plus we went horse back riding on the beach, drank massive amounts of daiquiris and went on various boat cruises. This was great until my best friend at the time kissed my sister and we almost got kicked out of the hotel because I cried so hard. Other than that moment, super fun!
4- Cheyenne, WY - went to the Daddy of 'em all and saw Toby Keith & Scotty Emerick. We were close enough to have the confetti rain on us. We went with my dad and his fiance and that night the 5 of us stayed in a crappy motel room where my brother, sister and I all slept in one full-sized bed. The next day we saw all sorts of events while drinking Bud Lights. My brother and sister got cowboy hats, but I did not, as I look like a tool in hats. I got a shot glass, which I have used more often than I would have worn a hat.

Four of My Favorite Dishes:
1- Broccoli Rice Casserole - only when my mom makes it. This used to be the requested birthday dinner for years.
2- Corn pudding - strangely enough I discovered it only once I moved away from the South and got a cook book. Now I make it a lot.
3- Steak salad from Outback - Damn good stuff. They have good regular salads too.
4- Rolls from Roadhouse - So good. We used to get a box of rolls to bring home with us. Plus, it was always fun throwing peanuts at each other.

Four Sites I Visit Daily:
1- Dooce
2- Washington Post - but that’s really for the crossword
3- - but only to look at UGA sports- and that's really only during football season
4- Go Fug Yourself - they crack me up

Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:
1- In my bed, asleep or reading
2- On a beach, pretty much anywhere as long as it wasn't windy
3- With my family, also pretty much anywhere and especially if there are board games
4- Athens during a home game, especially against a good rival, but not Tennessee because that ugly orange color is ... well, ugly.

Four People I'm Tagging:
1- Holly
2- Sara
3- Ann
4- Katie
5- I don't know enough people with blogs to make them do it, so you'll probably never see their responses

Monday, February 06, 2006


Superbowl XL

I didn't really care who won the game, the Seahawks have better helmets, the Steelers have "The Bus" and Hines Ward, the most handsome man in football according to Matt. Both had good stories - 5 wins for the Steelers ties them for most franchise wins, it would have been the first for the Seahawks. I just wanted a good game, and for the most part, it was.

But, what I, along with many other people, really wanted to see was the commercials. And I was disappointed. Overall it was a bummer bowl for ads. There were a few gems among them: the Bud & Bud Light ads were good as usual, especially the Streaker and baby Clysdale; the Disney World one where the players practiced saying, "I'm going to Disney World"; the MacGyver one, the one where they say "Cheers" in different languages. You can watch them all here.

But by far, the best one was from Sprint. My favorite was "The Locker Room". I laughed out loud for awhile after that one. It's very similar in concept to the Altell one, so it's a little copycat-ish, but I don't care because it's hilarious. People getting hit in the face will crack me up every time.

Friday, February 03, 2006


Dandy lions


Thursday, February 02, 2006


Whoever smelt it dealt it

As I was walking the dog tonight I caught the scent of a fire and it reminded me that I've been meaning to write this post. A few months ago we put together a scrap book for my Pop-Pop. My aunt Beth wrote that smells attach a memory and that she always associated Pop-Pop with WD-40. Even Susan said that smells make a memory- her grandpa smelled of peppermint and pipe tobacco. I've noticed lately how much smell can tie you to stuff. So here are my top 5 favorite smells:

1- Mothballs. Yea I know that's weird. But my grandma had them in all of her closets and their house had the smell pretty much soaked into it. My cousin bought my grandparents' house and said it took them a few months, but the smell is gone. That's one of the reasons I don't want to go see it. I also have a dresser than used to be in grandma's guest room. Sometimes, when I am low on clothes and have to reach in the back to get a pajama shirt, I catch a whiff of mothballs and feel closer to her.

2- Smoke. I love the smell of burning wood. I reminds me a lot of my dad. When we lived in Connecticut we often had fires at night. He made really good fires. And we'd sit in the family room until they went out. We always had a picture with pumpkins or jack-o-lanterns in front of the fire. That was a big thing I missed when we moved to Georgia. We had a gas fireplace, but it's not the same. The same smell comes off a campfire (duh). I love camping and sitting around roasting marshmallows and drinking beers and telling stories or looking at the stars while listening to good music. And when you get home and unpack you have the campfire still in your clothes.

3- Laundry detergent, especially Gain. Clean clothes remind me of mom. She loves to do laundry. Hates most other chores, but loves laundry. And God help the person who messes up the system. She's the one who taught me to soak my whites to keep them whiter. And it reminds me of being little and getting out of a bath or the ocean and being wrapped up with a towel that just came out of the dryer or a beach bag and rubbing my nose in it. That kind of warm and safe feeling.

4- Water. Snow a la Pacey Witter. When you go outside and the air is clear and cold and the inside of your nose hurts. But the smell is so clear and fresh. And once it falls you wet smell and you get all cold and want cocoa. And rain, mainly when it's really hot and you go outside either right when it starts or after a brief shower and it makes the pavement steam. That clean smell. And the ocean- except not the fishy kind. But the kind that mixes the salt and sand and air all into something special and it leaves it's mark on your skin. And pools, the chlorine and cold. I love going into indoor pools and that first blast of chlorine when you go from the locker room to the pool room.

5- Dog. Wet dog smells- I'll give you that one. But when the dog comes home from the groomer's and has shampoo smell, and after she's been home for awhile and goes back to doggy smell, it's something I love. Especially her feet. I don't smell dog feet all the time. Or just any dog's feet- only my 3. They kind of smell like Fritos. I don't know why I am attached to that smell. But sniffing the dog I guess in a way grounds me. Gives me something that will always be there and is comfortable. Like when you have a bad day, all you need to do is put your face on hers and she's there for you.

There are other smells that remind me of people and places. Certain smells that remind me of my mom and siblings and cousins (Juniper Breeze!), but those change. Certain guy deodorants, shampoos, perfumes all remind me of people or things or times in my life. But those 5 smells hit me in a way that the other smells don't.

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