Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Come on Joe T

So DJ is out and Joe Shishkabob (as T-Dawg calls him) is in. I feel for the guy- it's a lot of pressure. I'm sure he will do fine this weekend as the Dogs are awesome.

This is awesome. Heh- haterbowl. I especially love the fact that Tennessee is hated for being Tennessee on both sides. It's funny cause it's true.

Monday, October 24, 2005


Conversations with KT

I wanted to post this when this season of One Tree Hill started, but my computer was acting dumb and wouldn't open Word documents. So here is a conversation that KT had, basically with herself during one episode last season:

KT: it's TIME!

Auto response from Me: Workin

KT: "i don't wanna be anything other than ...."
KT: "what i've been trying to be lately"
KT: JAKE@!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KT: jake
KT: JAKE!!!!!!!!111
KT: OH SHIT, i thought it was a dream
KT: ok, he's real, cool
KT: where are you?!
KT: i neeeeeeeeeeeed you
KT: is it time for anna to leave the show? i think so

Auto response from Me: Workin

KT: go go go go go go go go go go go AWAY!
KT: oh shoot, they're going to kiss
KT: oh shit
KT: oh shit
KT: oh shit
KT: i'm looking at the mexican and i still can't remember his name!
KT: go brooke!!!!!!!!!
KT: no!!!!! break up with him!
KT: don't think, just do it
KT: no, don't do that!

Auto response from Me: Workin

KT: damn't, i know you're working!
KT: stop it! leave me alone!
KT: evil, evil dan
KT: "all circuits are busy" damn you!
KT: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!
KT: bring jenny back home!
KT: bad move nathan
KT: FELIX!!! DAMN, i NEVER would have remembered that
KT: that ain't mexican!
KT: taylor's a skank ho

Auto response from Me: Workin

KT: nathan's pretty damn hot though
KT: working=watching the WB
KT: i know your story
KT: night ryan. love you!

Auto response from Me: Workin

KT: blah blah blah, i know

That is why I love KT.

Sunday, October 23, 2005



So I know it's October, but I'm beginning my Christmas shopping now since I have to do most of it online as I live in the boondocks.

My sister wants a purse from Herve Chapelier. These things look like something you can get a Target for $12. So, being that I am on a budget, I turned to e-bay. And got out bid with a minute 15 to go. And now I have to wait 2 days before my next shot. That's the thing that sucks about e-bay- other people. Other people are whores.

But I did get my brother a cool present.

So, does anyone know where I can get one of these things, without using e-bay? And do you want to give it to me for free?

Friday, October 21, 2005



I read a lot of books, listen to a lot of songs and watch a lot of TV/movies. I guess you could say that I enjoy living vicariously through others- at least to a point. When I read stuff, there is almost always a passage or quote that touches me in some way. It can make me cry or laugh or think or get angry. I often underline or mark passages that affect me. So, instead of using those quotes as away messages on instant messenger, I figured I'd share. This isn't a 'weekly' or 'monthly' thing- it'll be sporadic- mainly because I leave a big pile of books in the corner and I'll write this up before I take them back to the library. This is also in lieu of a 'what I'm reading' side menu.

So here's what I've got today:
"Other people's obsessions are boring." Alan Alda never have your dog stuffed

Acknowledgments: ". . . And finally, to every dickhead that I've had the displeasure of knowing, giving me enough lemons to make lemonade - pitchers of it." Sherrie Krantz Vivian Lives

"I believe, when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade. And you should find someone whose life gives them vodka, and you should get together and have a party" Ron White Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again

Thursday, October 20, 2005


Conversation with Whit

Sometimes I save conversations on instant messenger because they are though provoking or funny or sweet. This is one from 2 years ago.

Me- I'll be back in a minute, I have to pee

Him- Ok, I'll wait while you go drain the lizard

Me- Um, I'm a girl, I don't have a lizard

Him- Oh right...

Him- the octopus?

Me- Gross

Which I guess begs the question- what animal does a girl have? A sea anemone?

Tuesday, October 18, 2005


F'in Ants

So I like to eat cereal for dessert instead of for breakfast. I blame this on my mom because when we were little we only got healthy cereals for breakfast. We once got a coupon for Fruit Loops and we could only have them for dessert. We also made candy necklaces out of Fruit Loops.

I bought Honey Nut Cheerios last week and was all excited about pouring a bowl and watching Friends. I was 3/4 though the bowl when I saw an ant swimming in the milk. Alright, one ant, I can handle that. Until I saw 2 more using an O as a life raft. Then I freaked and checked the box- ants running wild! It was gross. Next I check my other cereals. Lucky Charms got the infestation- that's strike 2 for the Charms. There were no ants in Life nor in Cocoa Puffs. I don't have ants anywhere else in my kitchen or pantry so why these 2 cereals?

You know that creepy feeling you get after seeing a spider when it feels like you've got spiders in your hair or something. Well I have that- on the inside.

Damn ants.

Sunday, October 16, 2005


Are you ready...

For the BCS? I don't know if I am yet, but there's not much I can do to change it. I watched a special the other night where Coach Richt said he wouldn't want a play off because then regular season games don't mean as much. I never thought of it that way, and I guess he's got a point. I'd still like to see the 8 teams that go to the big 4 games have a playoff. that way there'd still be weight to regular season games b/c you'd need wins to get to the big 4. But whatever.

Here are my feelings for today's games. First, UGA did well and decided not to run up the score, as evidenced by Joe III coming in for Shockley at the end. And what's with the foghorn? I don't get it, aren't they birds? The rest of our schedule doesn't seem that difficult, but you never know- Auburn might pull one out. I also agree with the announcer that Jacksonville is not a neutral site- it's in Florida. We need to alternate- J'ville and Atlanta. Hopefully this will be Richt's 2nd SEC Championship team and we'll go to a good bowl. Now we just need VT, USC and UT to lose and we'll be set to go to the Rose bowl. The best thing about tonight game was that Richt was looking hot. The black turtleneck looked good. Every time they showed his wife (who is the water girl which is just about the cutest thing ever) or one of his sons, I felt all bad though.

The hatred I feel for USC grows weekly. Pete Carrol is such a little bitch. I think the Trojans feed off my anger. Everytime they've been losing and I start watching the game, they come back and win. This happened tonight. I didn't watch the game at all until the last 42 seconds. And what happens? Notre Dame does a kick ass job and SC gets a cheap shot at the goal. I wanted someone to punch Matt Leinert in the face. Now my friends know not to call me until the game is over.

Florida lost. That puts them 2 games behind in the SEC East- still behind to Vanderbilt- hee!

Saturday, October 15, 2005



I got this from Jenn, who got it from DCeiver.

Pick a band/artist, and answer these questions using only song titles by that band.

Are you male or female: "Rosealia"
Describe yourself: "It's A Southern Thing"
How do some people feel about you: "Good"
How do you feel about yourself: "Beautiful Mistake"
Describe what you want to be: "Extra Ordinary"
Describe how you live: "Strange Funny Way"
Describe how you love: "Desperately Wanting"
Share a few words of wisdom: "Happy Day Mama"
Band: Better Than Ezra.

The hardest part was narrowing down which songs I wanted to use. BTE has been around for 10+ years now so they have have alot of songs. So many have hit a target with me, but, as I've waxed poetically about BTE before, I'll just say they rock and I hope everyone in the group and their families is ok.

Monday, October 10, 2005


Bye Bye Shelby

Today my dog died.

Let me tell you a little bit about my first puppy. Shelby's a yellow lab that we got when she was 6 weeks old. She was a little round ball and the cutest thing ever. My sister named her for Shelby from Steel Magnolias. She grew up with our family and was just as much a member as any other sibling. When my mom called us to the table, or on the phone, or to pick up something, it normally sounded something like, "Ryan, Jeff, Shelby, Holly, whoever you are".

She loved to get into mischief. I've written about how she got out of the yard so many times that we had to basically make the fence into a fortress with sheet of steel. So also liked to eat everything. She's wasn't a chewer- she didn't go into closest except when she was really little and she ate my mom's leather boots and the top of my hiking boot.

She ate everything else though. You couldn't ever leave food out. She went to my brother's room once and ate an entire box of nutrigrain bars. She ate multiple loafs of Cuban bread- including the plastic. Once, she ate an entire rack of ribs, got diarrhea so bad we had to replace the living room carpet, ate a chicken less than a week later and crapped again. That's when my mom discovered Capture- or to her- the miracle stain remover. They sold it at her haven (aka Home Depot) and she now purchases it in bulk.

Shelby has also eaten plastic bags, batteries, rocks of various sizes, kitty litter, frizbees, bones, sticks, dirt, a once 2 batches of home made play-do that my sister had made into a giant flower. She did not like citrus or lettuce, but I think she would have eaten just about anything else.

She loved swimming and would go to the pool to play with the kids, or jump into any river or lake. She did not like baths or the hose.

She let us dress her up like a cowboy or ballerina. We put countless pairs of glasses, shoes, and socks on her because how hilarious is that?

She had a '9' tattoo on her tummy to identify which puppy she was and you could still see it. We used to okay 'Who put the cookie in the cookie jar' with her as number 9- always the one who stole the cookie.

She loved being with people, especially my mom. She knew it was time to go on a walk when my mom put sneakers on. She knew it was time to go out when I got out my Walkman. She was mainly my mom's dog, her fourth baby. I can't imagine what she's feeling right now. She was holding her when she fell asleep.

I'm going to miss her. I'm sure she's running through puppy heaven, eating all the ribs she wants to and jumping in pools with kids. She was the best first dog anyone could have. RIP Shelby.

Sunday, October 09, 2005


Super Drinking Board Games

I've mentioned Super Drinking fun before, but I figured I would explain the rules and the back story to allow for family fun for everyone.

Back story: Last year, while I was visiting my brother, we got bored. He had one of those 12-in-1 game sets so we started playing. We fell in love with a game called Speedway. It is deceptively simple. There is an oval with the number 2-12 on it. You're supposed to play with 2 people, but more can be added- especially when turned into Super Drinking Speedway. You have a piece for each player and 2 dice. You must roll a 5 or a combination of 5 to get on the board. Then you roll each number to move to a space. For example, you're on 5, you must roll a 6 or a combination of 6 (e.g. 2 & 4) to move to 6. You can only move up one number at a time, that is if you're on 4, you must next go to 5. If you land on a space with someone on it, they go back to start (they don't have to roll another 5 however- once you get on the board, you stay on). That's all there is to it- rolling to try and get a number. However, this game can take hours to play and it sucks you in with it's simplicity and complexity at the same time.

Drinking: We added drinking rules to spice up the game. Matt, my brother's roommate, helped to create Super Drinking Speedway. The rules are as follows:
1- If you send someone back, they drink
2- If you roll doubles that you don't need, you drink
3- If you roll doubles that you can use, everyone else drinks
4- If someone rolls the number you need, you drink (aka Jeff's rule)

That's it. We've added other rules to make the game more interesting. Some are optional, others are not.
1- Void. This is probably the best rule and the most fun to use. If someone does not drink the required amount of drinks before they roll they dice on their turn, any other player yells out void and that player's turn is skipped. This requires that everyone pay attention. Plus, yelling void is fun.
2- Three knock. This is to move the game along and is optional. Once a player rolls the dice finished his/her turn, the next player has 3 seconds to grab the dice. This is done by any other player knocking 3 times on the table and grabbing the dice. The player to the left of the skipped player then rolls, unless he/she is also three knocked.
3- Knock out- if a player needs to pee, get a refill etc., they may opt to knock out. This means that plays continues as if they weren't there. Their drinks are counted and when the knock back in, they must drink the required amount before they can roll again, or they are voided. The other players must not add drinks.

These basic rules have been added to Multiple board games in the last few years. So far, we have played Super Drinking:
1- Popomatic Trouble (you must say the 'popomatic' or it doesn't count.
1- Sent back = you drink
2- When you get to move (i.e. roll a 6 and have a man enter the game) everyone else drinks
3- When you get a man 'home' everyone else drinks
4- When you roll a 4 you drink
5- Void
6- Optional 3 knock

2- Sorry
1- Sent back, you drink
2- 2 or 1 allowing you to get a man on board = everyone drinks
3- Slide rule- if you slide and knock someone home they drink 2 times- once for the slide and once for being sent home
4- backwards - if you get a 4 or if you opt to go back 1 when you pick a 10, you drink
5- If you get a man 'home' you drink, note he must be home not in the safety zone
6- Void

3- CandyLand
1- Sent back, you drink (this includes going back to start if someone lands on you, or moving backwards because of a character card)
2- Blue, you drink
3- Double = everyone drinks
(note, if you pick a double blue, you drink 2 times and everyone else drinks 1)
4- Character card- whoever yells out the correct name on the card gets to chose 1 player to drink
5- Stuck on Gloppy or licorice = you drink
6- If you opt to take the 'Rainbow Trail' or 'Gumdrop Pass', you drink for taking the easy way out
7- Void

4- Chutes and Ladders
1- If you go up a ladder, everyone drinks the number of spaces/5
2- If you go down a snake/chute, you drink the number of spaces/5
3- If you roll a 4, you drink
4- If you land on a space that's a multiple of 5, you drink
5- If you're landed on and go back to start, you drink
6- Void

We've tried Trivial Pursuit, but it's not as fun as the others. Super Drinking Board Games provide hours of Super Drinking Fun. I would recommend that all players decided to spend the night wherever they play since you get drunk very quickly when playing these games. Also, I would suggest beer or semi-weak mixed drinks or you'd be dead in about 30 minutes.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


Why I feel old at 25

I used to babysit for my neighbors. It was cool because I got paid pretty well to hang out with kids all day, play with Legos and watch movies. I started babysitting these 2 boys when I was in 8th grade. Both boys were still in potty training mode and one still occasionally drank from a bottle. I babysat for these guys throughout college when I was home on breaks and often during the summer.

I saw them for the first time in 2 years at Thanksgiving last year. They're as tall as me and Michael's voice had changed. Today, I got an email from their mom with pictures attached. Michael, the older one, was a GIRLFRIEND, whom he took to the HOMECOMING DANCE.

He is not allowed to be going to dances. He's supposed to still be playing with Power Rangers and Beastwars and reading Animorphs books.

He is definitely not allowed to have a girlfriend before I get a finance- or let's be honest- a boyfriend. That's just the rules. I didn't make 'em.

Side note- spell check did not recognize "babysat" and wanted to replace it with "Pabst". I think I will take on spell check's suggestion and go open a cold one. When the boys start legally drinking, just shoot me. Who am I kidding, I'll probably be right there, buying a round.

Monday, October 03, 2005


Mom's Kmart Dating Experience

After my parents got divorced, my mom started dating. She eventually moved on to match.com and other online sources, but she started out with phone personal ads. She basically had a voicemail system that guys would leave messages on and then she would respond if she liked the message. She often let my sister and I hear the messages over speaker phone so we could weed out the bad guys.

One guy left the best message ever. He had a super southern accent, which in itself isn’t bad, I mean I love me some southern boys, but it was the white trash southern. Unless you’re from the south, it sounds similar to a regular southern accent, but it isn’t. I believe his name was Rusty. He then proceeds to say how he has a gun collection and as a hobby said he likes going to Kmart.

Now, I know some of you are thinking, “This man could be my dream date” and that may be true. But my mom is, well, a pseudo-snob. She buys clothes from Talbots and wears sweaters knotted around her shoulders to tennis matches. She also wears velour sweat suits to QT to buy coffee in the morning, but that’s another story. She wanted my sister to go to Duke to marry a preppy boy. She bought 2 cats worth more than my entire shoe collection. One of the cats goes to cat shows. Yes, I said CAT SHOWS. As in she has a SHOW CAT. She does not show it herself, thank the Lord, but she lets him be shown. So this man was just so far off the chart for her that it was hilarious. I wonder if she still has that message.

Saturday, October 01, 2005



I have decided that Walmart on a Saturday is the first level of hell.

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