RyRySays

My friend Little E and I went to Elliots this weekend. She got an email from them about a free beer tasting from 12-4. I don't know what we were thinking, but what I expected/hoped for and what we got were 2 very different things. For some reason I thought cool, we'll get a couple of glasses of some good beers that vendors are testing and they'll want our comments. Nope. It was like a fancy wine tasting, but with beer. All IPAs. The beer guy, who was also the wine guy I think, told us about the history of IPAs, how America likes to be over the top and thus we add a shit ton more hops (technical term) to our IPAs. We tested 5 - they were all pretty decent. The first was a lot more bitter than the other 4. Now I am not going to be all smarty-pants about beer because while I could tell the difference in them drinking them 1 after the other, I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference in general. And I prefer Bud Light to all of them. I figured out that I don't really like pale ales - I don't like bitter beer and hops = bitter apparently.

After the beer tasting we had lunch then talked for an hour. We both talked about that even though we consider ourselves smart women in general, we've put ourselves into the bubble on more than one occasion and blocked out reality when a man who was awful for us got involved. While I no longer give a crap about that man, he's still affecting my life in the sense that I opened myself completely to him and was crushed beyond belief. So now I am afraid to really really put myself back out there and will pull back at the slightest bit of hesitation on a new guy's part. I am crippling myself to avoid the potential pain. It's stupid and I'm working on it, but it's there.

I also told her that I am slowly looking into online dating but am freaked out for a number of reasons, many of which revolve around work so I can't/won't talk about them here. I looked at one site the other day and burst into tears. I'm sure that most of the men on there were perfectly nice, normal people who were just like me. But I looked at maybe 50 pictures and read the profiles and was like Son of a Bitch - what a bunch of losers. And realized that the same people would be looking at me and thinking the same thing. I cried at the computer for about 15 minutes. Next time I approach the online dating thing, it will be from a more reputable site instead of a super crappy one and I will put specific requirements into my selections. I'm a picky person in the sense that I don't want to settle for just anyone. But I am pretty open minded when it comes to looks, jobs etc. I've liked typical pretty boys, but I've also liked guys who are way off that spectrum. I'm not expecting Channing Tatum (although I wouldn't say no).

I'll keep you updated if I decide that I really want to do this. It just feels like I'm stuck and need to do something. Since work people are out and as I am not the bar hopping type of girl, this seems like something I could do. Plus my picture looks pretty decent (not the one I have posted on this site - a more recent one). I still look like me, just a nice version of me. I think the scariest part is rejection and at least with online stuff you can't see their face or hear the words, you just don't get the email. Now I just have to decide how much I plan on lying in my profile!