Saturday, November 13, 2010


Fly Away Home

I was reading Fly Away Home by Jennifer Weiner (hee hee, weiner) the other day and I came across a passage that really hit me because I feel it describes me.

"She could admit, if only to herself, that she was bright but not terribly ambitious; that she lacked a certain something, aggression or tenacity or even just desire, that magical quality that would have lifted her from good to great."

I know I'm not stupid. I know I have some creativity. I know I am not diseased or broken. I am thankful for all of that. But at the same time, I've never been really good at anything. I'm good at lots of stuff (especially drinking diet coke and playing stupid board games). And I think it's more than I never really had a passion for something, rather than the not being great at something, that's always bothered me. I wish I knew what I wanted to be, who I want to be. I think that lack of passion is a big factor in why I am still looking for a job; I have no direction.

I feel like I'm at a crossroads, with tons of different paths to chose from and no desire to move at all. So I'm turning in a circle in the middle and getting glimpses of what could be, but never really making a move.

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